"I can't, I am a failure, I am not worthy, I am not attractive, No one will ever want me, I will never be successful, etc are just a handful of negative connotations we may have used to describe what we think about ourselves. If said repetitiously, it becomes a part of who we are as we believe these negative statements to be true. For example, a person may say "You'll never amount to anything." A negative thinker will agree and believe they will never amount to anything and that will be the end of it. However, if we want to transition into positive thinking we must challenge this negative statement, and say " That is not true I do not see myself that way." You emphasized a point, but also deflected this external statement from becoming your reality. You are defending a negative thought and turning it into a positive thought. This further reinforces the thought not to be true, as you are in control of your thoughts, life and feelings; not other people.
When you say "I can't do it." Ask yourself this question, Why can't you do something if you never tried to do it? If we assume and think negative before even making a conscientious effort, then it will be programmed in our minds, it cannot be done. To break out of the negative thinking habit, replace "I can't" with "I can do it," I will do it" give yourself the benefit of the doubt before you close the door before it actually opens. The more you say "I can do it" or " I will do it" on a daily basis with conviction where it just clicks and is meaningful to you, the negative thought of "I can't" will become a distant memory. Being able to quickly combat a negative with a positive is key to a healthier and better you! Changing who you want to be can be either a easy or difficult experience, but that is dependent on how you want it to be. If you want it to be difficult, no one does that but you! If you want it to be a seamless process, it CAN be done if you WANT it to be done.
As a person who is a habitual negative thinker, I had to learn how to combat my negative thoughts into positive thinking. For example, "today is going to be a bad day I just know it." How do I know it will be bad day? Why would it be a bad day? Asking realistic questions about what the negative thought is for that moment, places things in perspective to give better judgment. It would direct you to think and be more positive. I sometimes retract into the comfort zone of thinking negative, but once I realize how it impacts and makes me feel, and question what does thinking this way do for me, it brings me back to a more positive mind set once I address the negative thought and change it right away. It is not rocket science to think positive (I sometimes make it appear to be)The biggest challenge for me is, not to look for reasons to validate my negative thinking as a legitimate excuse. No one makes me think or be negative unless I allow myself to believe that they do.
To be a more positive thinker, it starts with you changing the way you view yourself and how you want to think going forward. If there is a moment where you feel down in the dumps, think of a moment which makes you smile to uplift your spirit. Motivate yourself by saying positive mantras repeatedly to start your day. For example: " I am somebody," I love my life," I am beautiful." I am only going to see what I want to see," "Today will be a great day, " etc positive words that is geared to change how you think, feel and see yourself. In addition, examine and ask yourself questions. When you feel embattled about an issue such as " I don't like what that person said about me." ask yourself is it worth getting upset on what a person says about you? An opinion is just what it is, a thought on what a person feels. It doesn't mean to think negative at that moment, but rather shrug it off and say it is just an opinion, it doesn't define who I am, and move forward.
Staying on course to being a positive thinker is not easy! I know because I have been a habitual negative thinker for most of my life! But, learning the tools needed to being more positive is the way to a more productive and better you. When something bad happens, don't talk about it! Don't venture in, "you wouldn't believe what just happened.." and relive the "bad" moment to invoke negative thoughts. Rather, talk about what went well about your day. Address the negative thought quickly and channel it with a positive thought to diffuse a bad feeling. Write down your goals you wish to accomplish giving you a reason to be positive to look forward to something good. I like to write down my feelings on paper negative or positive to get out what I am feeling and see where I can improve. It is a learning curve we can all master and achieve only if YOU want it to happen!
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